Your sugars painted on your lips still,
A taste I cannot bare to endure.
Weakness breaths heavily on my neck
But inside you just dont know whats going on.
Oh my, I think the world stopped turning.
Just open up your curtains,
Greet the fading leaves sprinkled with your sugar
Which I had stared at and empathised with
As your kisses grew sickly.
Oh my, I think the rain stopped falling.
No happily ever after, no knight in shining armour.
And those rejections were accepted when your sugar bit my lip,
Leaving me and my memories quivering, not quite in reality
And yet very much alone.
Oh my, I think the tears stopped spilling.
Your sugar glazed over, distorting what you see as fairy tale -
A One way mirror in your eyes, revealing space within their dark depths,
Your sugar shows no contact prior my tongue, leaving me thinking;
That somehow, saccharin never tasted so sweet.
Oh my, I think my heart stopped beating.














Comments
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L- 'hey! kira!'
Light- 'what?'
XD
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clubs:
~Club-Sakujo
~Church-Of-L
*DeathNoteFanclub
~DMC-FC
~Light-Yagami-Fanclub
I can't really give you proper feedback, as I can't write for toffee, but I think the first two paragraphs work / flow better.. Maybe it's the shorter lines? =S
But it's lovely lovely lovely =] <3
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-------------♥
I'm falling into memories of you </3
It's really nice of you to comment all together ^^
Love you xxxxxxxxxx <3
--
Don't Cry Because It's Over, Smile Because It Happened.
~GGDFC
I have an inkling a song was somehow present in your thinking for this.
I really love this, it is so very beautiful.
The "oh my" bits were really something, I can't tell what it is...it's good though xD
And I would be angry at the lack of Madam, I'm Adam but, this is a fantastic piece and I can't be angry at it. =]
--
GDL- "Sit On The Desk, Discuss Philosophy & Snog Each Other's Faces Off! (:"
I'll have you know I'm quite addicted to that song at the moment ^^ I just loved how it sounded. I'm realy glad you like it
You'll get Madam I'm Adam when I rewrite the last stanza and have Stevi have another look over it =]
xxxxxxxxxxx
--
Don't Cry Because It's Over, Smile Because It Happened.
~GGDFC
Oooh, I can't wait ^^
xxxxxxxxxx<3
--
GDL- "Sit On The Desk, Discuss Philosophy & Snog Each Other's Faces Off! (:"
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